Happy New Year!!

Welcome 2014!!

Melissa here. As most of you know, Henning has spent the last three months in the states with me. As you also know, I was booted out of Denmark, so our situation has been complicated by not only health issues but logistical issues, as well.

I have been busy making a new life in NH, while Henning has been figuring out home hemodialysis in Denmark. We had planned on his being able to travel with the NxStage System One (the only portable home dialysis machine) but due to tons of red tape and a complete lack of urgency of his care team, time was ticking away, and away, and away.

Thanks to NxStage and HDU (courtesy of Rich Berkowitz) Henning was able to travel to the US for a conference in October. He was officially invited by HDU, and Rich gave us tons of advice and lots of pushing in the right direction. NxStage stepped up and got on board, as Henning is the first Scandinavian and only one of a handful of Europeans on home dialysis to travel to the US, and perhaps the only one to do so for  such an extended visit. This is a Very Big Deal, medically speaking.

Thanks to some sponsorship, good connections and a lot of great timing, Henning’s visit has been relatively drama-free. He did have some access issues at first. In Florida at the conference, it was getting pretty urgent as he was unable to dialyze for nearly three days. That’s a lot of days. NOT good. But due to some great support, material, emotional and physical, from NxStage staff, he was able to finally get a good cleaning and we had a great time, over all. I’ll post more about the conference now that I will have some free time to really work on my backlogged posting.

Once we were back in NH, access issues continued to be a problem. Thankfully we have great support here as well, again thanks to NxStage finding a local doctor willing to work with them and Henning. International prescription and care issues continue to be a problem with home hemo users and international travel. His doc did a scan and discovered Henning’s venus access site was about 1/4″ away from the actual fistula. Again, NOT GOOD. And… also… no great surprise. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, Henning’s care in Denmark is sub-par, and that’s the most flattering comment I can make.

Once Henning established a new access, he’s had no further access issues. In fact, dialysis has been pretty boringly unremarkable, and that’s GOOD.

We have visited some great friends, had some great dinners out, done too much shopping, and spent too much money in the three months he’s been here. We took the girls to New York City the weekend before Christmas, and that was quite an adventure! The girls had never been, and it was great seeing the city fresh from their points of view. Neither Henning nor I had been to the City during the holidays, and we did have a few cranky moments in the crush of Times Square, but otherwise we had a blast. We walked over 120 blocks, and checked off almost everything on our “If you could only spend one day in NYC what would you do” list.

We had a quiet Thanksgiving and Christmas and spent lots of time with the girls. Our oldest lives next door to us, so spending time with her, her fiance and our grandson is always fun!! Megan and Larry are getting married on New Year’s Eve, so I’m thrilled that Henning will be able to be here for that.

We are sad to see his time here end. He goes back to Denmark on January 6th. So we have just a few more days together, this time around. We are already planning the next visit sometime in the spring.

Look for more posts as we catch up after a few months of just reveling in each other’s company.

We are launching a new site, as well. This page has served it’s purpose and while we have not yet decided what to do with it, we have decided, in light of all of our recent adventures and media attention (due to Henning’s astonishing journey and medical status) that this was a little too… little. Look for KidneyNerd.com, coming soon.

Happy New Year!!

And finally…

… we had a really fantastic day.

Friday morning, Henning went to dialysis while I prepared the turkey and side dishes. I managed my Embassy errand, and Henning’s dad was kind enough to play chauffeur. He didn’t even laugh when I started belting out, “Cecilia” along with the radio. What can I say. I was tired. Plus… who doesn’t love that song?!

By the time Henning returned home, dinner was nearly ready, and our first guests were arriving.

I can’t even describe the day. It was sublime. Everyone brought a dish to share, and all the food was spectacular. Our friends are amazing. Everyone was full of love and good wishes. We had jazz in the background, wine in the foreground, and we were all in great spirits. ūüôā

The day ranks in the very top percentage of good days I have had. After the month we have had, to spend the very last day of it in such great company, surrounded with love and support, was truly a gift.

November is a month of Thanksgiving for my country. I have struggled sometimes with trying to find things to be thankful for, in the midst of all we have faced this month. I have been sarcastic, I have been angry, mostly I have been fearful… But, looking back over the month, it is clear to me how very blessed I am, to have the opportunity to live this life I chose with the man I love.

To everyone reading, thank you for all you have given us. I enter the holiday season with a lighter, yet vastly fuller heart, and I look forward to sharing more adventures with you soon.

It continued…

… with admission to the hospital.

AND everyone spoke to us in English. The doctor who admitted Henning gave us all the information we asked for, and then asked (often) if we had any more questions, and left us with the assurance that she was available if we thought of something to ask later.  She was being shadowed by a medical student, so for his sake as well as ours, she was very detailed and specific.

All the questions about the acute catheter vs. permanent catheter were answered. His fistula (as you likely remember) is still too young/weak to bear the pressure of dialysis. He has a consult next week, bu there is no way to know how long it will be before they can operate, or how long after that until the fistula is viable. Because the acute catheter is not a good option for long-term use, but also because we could not wait the three-plus weeks for the permanent catheter (different team, different surgery schedule), we all agreed for him to have the acute catheter placed as soon as possible (some time that night), and still be placed on the schedule for the permanent catheter. More surgery, but also immediate access for dialysis, which would take place the next day, hopefully first thing in the morning, but for sure within 24 hours.

I drove home (yes, I drove!) to supply us for at least one, maybe two days in the hospital. If I stayed with him, Henning was allowed to stay in the Patient Hotel (sub-acute and way less “institutional” than a traditional room). Of course I was staying. Duh.

Anyone¬†who has been reading my facebook¬†posts the last week knows this, but when I came home, it was to an immaculate space. Bente had scrubbed the entire apartment in anticipation of our wedding celebration (because the next day, we were getting married… nothing like excellent timing), and¬†the place¬†was literally shining. I really did cry, then.

By the time I’d returned¬†to the hospital, Henning was checked into the Patient Hotel, and our room was ready. It was lovely. We had two beds that we were able to push together. They made sure we ate, that we knew who was on staff for the¬†evening, that we had extra blankets and¬†pillows… they were wonderful.¬†¬†After the experiences we’d had for the past few weeks, it was like finding an oasis.

We had an amazing dinner, and were able to finally relax, somewhat. We watched movies and read until they called Henning for surgery. I had only intended to follow him to the ward, but due to a combination of miscommunication between the porter and the surgical nurse, and (I am SURE Рthe language barrier), I was suited up in cap and gown and stood in a corner to observe the entire thing.

I was sure the phone would ring in the middle of the procedure, as I had not even thought of turning it off until the doc was well under way, and when I shifted position to check it, everyone stopped to make sure I was ok, so I just left it alone… Yikes!!!

I won’t go into all the details here, but it was fascinating. I have watched my oldest daughter have surgery, so I was somewhat prepared to watch someone I love get cut into. Somewhat. I also had a small career on the telemetry floor of a hospital as a phlebotomist and nursing assistant, so I know I have no fear of blood, guts, or other bodily excretions, and was in no danger of passing out or otherwise disrupting the operation. But…¬† it was still disturbing, as much as it was fascinating.

The procedure took about 20 minutes, and that was including the¬†doc being¬†interrupted by a phone call, and a visitor. I have a skit written in my head depicting¬†the whole thing¬†that I’m sure would be worthy of Saturday Night Live… but I digress.

Henning was then taken to X-Ray to make sure the catheter was properly placed. There was a fun moment (that I missed because the room was too small for all of us and the bed) when the tech asked if Henning would please stand up for the X-Ray, and Henning delayed for a moment after saying, “No,” before giving his explanation. I wish I had been there for that moment… ūüėÄ Oh, and the catheter¬†WAS properly placed.

After an hour or so of observation, we were allowed to go back to the Patient Hotel and (finally, maybe?) sleep. Have I mentioned how much sleep we have¬†had at this point? Right, none. Neither of us had slept through the night in weeks… and had not more than an hour at a time in days. We soon discovered that the two beds were not quite the same height, and the taller one had a slight wooden lip that my elbow honed in on right away, but otherwise, it was very nice. But we didn’t sleep. We dozed, there was some snoring… but neither of us was able to let go enough, to relax enough, to really sleep.

The next morning, I grabbed food from the fabulous buffet provided, and we settled in to wait for the call to come to dialysis. We had quite a few OTHER calls, because people wanted to know what was going on, but no call from the dialysis ward. Henning’s dad had come to town, so we called him to ask him to chill the wine… I have mentioned that now we are well into our WEDDING DAY, right? No? Well, the days were running together at that point… so…

Finally the call from the dialysis ward came. They were unable to get us in first thing, but if we came in at 3pm… Henning asked them to call back in 5 minutes while we had a discussion.

The wedding was scheduled for 1pm. We had people coming over, some from quite far, and some (like his dad) had already arrived. Could we do the wedding, AND the party, in TWO hours?? Or … the other option was to wait until the next day for dialysis. When they called back, we took the 3pm slot. Or maybe… we could push it to between 3pm and 4pm… ? ūüôā When they found out why we needed more time, they complied readily.

So then….