…sometimes slow, sometimes not so slow. But never at an acceptable level!
I might as well admit it, I am ‘the world’s worst patient’, primarily due to the fact that I am the epitome of impatience when it comes to hospitals, their standards and procedures. There is a systemic thinking that reminds me of a swim meet where some clown has filled the pool with molasses –every progressive step is taken in slo-mo, when it is taken at all.
So before I get started on my impatience tirade, let me relay a fun story from today. Part of the whole dialysis process is doing your vital statistics, weight and blood pressure (BP) every single time and BP is taken both before and after the cleaning of the blood. To some of you it might seem like yet another one of those unnecessary hospital things but it does make sense when you know why (and remember I am usually totally anti that sort of thing). BP is measured because when fluid is removed from the body too fast there is a serious chance of a drop in BP that might lead to the brain not getting enough oxygen – and I think we all know what that means. Weight maintenance is also of vital importance because one is way more prone to different diseases and aftereffects from lack of basic nutrients if the weight drops. So as much as I want to say they are unnecessary, unfortunately they aren’t.
So today I get on the scale and the little strip of paper that usually comes out with my weight is no longer there so I have to have a nurse read it for me. she tells me that they also have a chair scale that I can use but that one also needs a nurse to read it so there is no point in using that one either. I make the comment that it is a remnant of the old-fashioned thinking that the staff needs to be in control of everything and the nurse adds dryly that she disagrees, in her opinion it’s a clear sign of no thinking. I must admit that comment warmed my cold, little (im)patient heart – it’s the little things that count sometimes.
So why am I otherwise so impatient? The short answer is, because everything is so slooooow! I am doing great with the needles. I have started using a blunt needle in both my buttonholes and I have self-cannulated for quite a while. I still have the nurses spot me while I do it but it will not be long before that is unnecessary as well. So that is sort of ok.
What really makes my blood curdle (something that is never good when dialyzing) is the fact that I was supposed to start on the NxStage machine, I am supposed to use at home, 2 weeks ago. But then the rep got sick and then time went by with nothing happening until I asked about it myself. So then we got an arrangement for next week that now has been pushed to the week after because of the nurse’s schedules. That means that 4 (FOUR) weeks have gone by for no apparent reason. Four weeks where I could have been learning and moving on with my life.
Let me say it honestly here. I @*¤# hate this inane system. It is a mystery to me why they are so paternalistic and over-protecting. I am seriously beginning to believe that home dialysis is seen more as a nuisance for the staff at this hospital and the freedom of the patients is not even considered – forget about it being secondary or even tertiary to the running of the ward!
I think I’ll stop here before my BP goes through the roof and the alarms will start howling.